Me Right Now

Oh wow at this point in life I’m a lot of things. Mostly though I just feel like I'm reliving middle school a little bit. While middle school was an exceptionally awkward time to be alive I freaking loved it. Like cried at my 8th grade graduation and thought my life would never ever be as fun as middle school was loved it. Looking back that seem ridiculous and a little bit strange but change never comes easy to me. College is a whole lot like middle school. It is just such an awkward inbetween stage in life. I'm back to that feeling of being stuck somewhere between a kid and an adult. I don't even have a home really. My dorm is somewhat of a temporary home, I mean it's where I sleep but it still looks a lot more like a hospital room than a home, but I don't live at my real home two and a half hours away either. I don't even know where I'll be living this time next year. I'm not even sure how it's possible that I'm old enough to be here right now or how I am expected to focus on exams when cookies and Christmas is all anyone should be thinking about. Yet I'm here old and working on projects and exams. It has only been about four months since I first moved in on campus but it is equally insane how swiftly things change and people adjust.

I now have “high school friends” and “college friends” in two neatly separated piles each with their very own friend spectrum. In high school I grew up with everyone in my graduating class since kindergarten. They’re not even “high school friends”, “preschool friends” is probably a way more accurate label. I’ve watched these people grow and they’ve watched me and we have helped shape each other for the past 13 years of life. They know me and understand me completely, probably better than I do at times, and I know them. I know their history, I know who their grandparents are, what church their parents go to, where they ate dinner last night, and which family business they own and for how long. These friends I’ve made my first semester at state have been wonderful and exciting and just different. They’ve never met my family, been inside my home, or even set foot in the town I’ve spent my whole life in but neither have I been inside their world, instead we’re just both learning how to make this new place our own, together. It’s a whole new and beautiful type of friendship I’ve never had before. Not a frienship any more or less real or important just uncharted territory. Basically, college is awkward but the most fun and friends are still my favorite part of life, both new and old.